Tuesday, May 17, 2011

TO DARLING


Isn’t It A Lovely Way, We Got In From Our Play
Isn’t It Babe, A Sweet Little Baby.



            Darling, I want you to know how much I love you. I care about you more than you may know. I wouldn’t have done all this if I didn’t. If I didn’t care I would have walked away in the beginning. But the truth is I do, and if you ever need me for something that you can’t get from your mommy and daddy, just know that your birthfather is here to help in whatever way I can.

            I looked back at my old posts on this blog, and I came to realize that I had strayed from my original intent. I noticed this because in the last month I have only done ONE post that has anything directly to do with your adoption. And as I stated in my very first post, I started this blog so that one day you could go back and understand why your birthmother and I did what we did, and you could see it the way I did.

            The problem there being that the blog turned into something else for me. It turned into a place to rant about adoption. I have said some rather harsh things about your birthmother on here and I want you to know that while I was upset with her, it doesn’t mean I think you should be. Your birthmother and I are very different people, and we operate in different ways. I like to be communicative, and not everyone is like that.

            I’m sure you already know if you are able to read this, but I want you to know what a truly wonderful person your birthmother is. She did something for you that I could not. And if you are ever angry or upset with her I want you to know how very hard it was for her to carry you for nine months, and because she loves you, to then give you to your mommy and daddy who needed you, and who you also needed.

            Darling, I want you to know how much you changed my life for the better. I don’t know if I can explain it to you properly. But you truly have. You have helped me to understand things that I didn’t before. Things about myself, as well as things about other people. I want to thank you for that. I love you very much Darling, and I will write more for you when those things happen.

From your birthfather,
With all my heart,
Benjamin.

5 comments:

  1. How wonderful you are to be able to show love for Darling's birth mother. Darling will appreciate that, most definitely.

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  2. You succeeded in making me cry! This was a beautiful post. Darling is so lucky to have you in her life!

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  3. (Happy smile and glistening eyes) Great post, Benjamin. What a beautiful letter.

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  4. Love it! I think that this will be amazing for Darling to one day read. I think the "ranting" about adoption is just as good as everything else! I think it will help her to understand how hard it really is for you to 'place' her for adoption.

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  5. :) Simply beautiful! I agree with Stacey, it will be good for her to hear about your journey, the ups and the downs.

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